In Writing & Rhetoric classes here at Columbia, we often discuss this particular dichotomy: insider versus outsider. Our Day 1 posts offer lots of great examples. Danielle and I both discussed the insider/outsider perspective from viewpoints of people who've moved from the country to the city. William's poem "Human Condition" gestures at these notions as well. Ryann mentions that she feels outside the group dynamic of "typical art student[s]." Deanna reckons she feels like a "'Black Sheep'," and goes as far as to underline her thinking with the choice of her image, a sheep. The examples from our first blog postings are too numerous to point out all at once, just as they are in our three texts as well. Here's three short summaries to contextualize further Day 2s writing prompt.In Our America, LeAlan Jones and Lloyd Newman go to great lengths to express and illustrate how living in the "Ida Bees" here in Chicago is to live in "two different Americas" (199). LeAlan states soberly: "I've never felt American, I've only felt African-American" (199). Jones and Newman grant us intimate access into their lives, and what we learn, if we didn't know already, is just how painful feeling truly disconnected from your country of birth can actually feel.
In The Last American Man, Elizabeth Gilbert details the life of Eustace Conway, a radical enviromentalist and survialist who lives completely off the land without the aid of modern technology. Conway feels so dejeceted and disconnected by and from capitalistic, materialistic American culture that he buys his very own plot of land way out in the mountains of North Carolina. He names his plot Turtle Island. However, though he seeks isolation, Gilbert relates to us that Conway never seems as home, more himself, than when he's on stage in front of a group of people, lecturing on the virtures of nature and the ability to survive by one's own two hands.
In Stranger Than Fiction, Chuck Palahniuk immerses himself in and vividly details what seem to be odd outisder subcultures like the Rock Creek Lodge Testicle Festival, a small group of folks who build and live in giant castles, and over-the-hill amatuer wrestlers still busting their noses and lips in search of one last tase of glory mixed with blood and mineral ice. Superfically speaking, these groups seem distant from American culture at large. However, Palahniuk's talent is to craft through a written voice of sympathy vibrant concrete details and real-life characters who are so alive by the essays' ends, we readers feel inside these outsider groups.
With these examples in mind, in 250 words or more:
1) Offer us a story from your life when you either felt like a complete outsider or a complete insider. Write and express yourself through vivid concrete details. As you recraft the scenery and people involved in your story, think of your mind's eye as a video camera. Scan your memories, pause on the key details and moments, and really bring them to life through images and vivid verbs.
2) Juxtapose your own story with what you read last night in your chosen text. How is the story you're offering us similar or different to any of the persons listed above, and the stories they're trying to tell? Based on your own story, do you identify with their criticisms of American culture? Do you feel you also truly know what it means to live as an outsider? Or, do you find strength and happiness through the groups of folks in your life that welcome you inside with open arms? Perhaps you've never felt as inside anything as you feel in your head while you're creating your art: making music, taking photos, mixing tracks, writing a poem or article or essay, acting or dancing or performing for live audiences?
Remember, these are your stories. Take ownership of them. Do your life and yourself justice through your words. Following up on our post-lecture lecture, help us see through your words the concrete connections or conflicts you are recognizing between yourself and the subjects of your chosen text. Thanks!!
13 comments:
the time that i flet like at outsideer was in second grade. i just came from another school and did on the rule of the school and the way that id act was different from the way thwe other kid act
just like the charteer in our america i flet out of place cause every thing that happen was put on me like if i did it
Most of my life I have felt as an outsider looking in. I can relate with "Stranger Than Fiction" from the stand point that he finds himself in situations he's describing that he can't even believe he's found himself in. Growing up I never felt as if I fit in due to the fact that not many people believed I fit in. I always felt isolated. Over the years I became used to and became comftertable with the feeling of being isolated and feeling as if I'm an outsider looking in on my own life. Especially during my last years of high school.
So My whole life I've felt like an outsider. Being myself growing up in Detroit and speaking without using slang set me apart. Outside of the fact that I'm different. MOst of my life I've been called white boy or Oreo, because of the way I speak. I can remember going to shcool and talking to one of my friends, and someone behind my would be listening in. Then they'd turn around to find me a big black guy and they'd jump and say "Oh, I thought you where white!" This contsant reminder that I spoke correctly kept me in close quaters with myself. I never felt part of a group, because the blacks thought I was fake and the white kids knew I was black. Much like LeAlan and Lloyd, didn't feel like they where apart of amerecia. Well I didn't feel like I was part of Humanity. I guess the greatest thing that came from being outcast was the fact that I grew into an indvidual and found my voice. Much like THe guys from Our america, the doc. gave those kids a voice and they screamed to the world ten times over. Well being non human help me to anayzle and see the true essence of humanity.
So, the question “tell a story when you have ever felt like complete outsider” reminds me of the book “The Outsiders” (which is a great book by the way) and it reminded me of from 8th grade and mostly through high school my best friend called me “pony boy”(in my case girl) or Ariel (from the little mermaid, because she didn’t talk, get it?) because I never felt the need to just go up and strike a conversation, when I said in my first blog, (the part where I was talking about how I was really shy), I don’t really talk to people, I mean I can warm up to you pretty easy, it just takes forever getting there. Back to a point though, the fact that I don’t really talk to people and I just kind of did my own thing and what not, so on and so forth. Then when high school started up and there was thousands of more kids so most of our friends went one way and we went another type thing, I guess I was kind of the outsider, I didn’t really talk unless spoken to or if I actually worked up the courage to talk to someone (people who are actually my best friends toady). I was usually the chick that wore a lot of dark colors (i.e. black, which was a really bad idea since I’m pathetically pale), listened to a lot of Metallica, with the eclectic music taste, and always had her face buried in a book. Actually I guess the book thing started in about 4th grade, because I didn’t really talk to anyone except for a few close people so I read a lot. I don’t really know if I’m exactly hitting a point with this, except for the fact that I just made myself sound a little sad, but I can’t really think of something that I really did that exactly made me an outsider, I mean, except for that fact that I kept to myself, that works right? That and the fact that I have a really bad OCD problem that really needs to get fixed sometime soon.
I would say I am an insider. Doing things in groups of people is always fun, but I get more done when by myself. Some things better than others and some things need to be done in a group. When I make my music, most of the time I am by myself, but the final product is shown with in groups of people to get my feedback. If the reaction is how I anticipated I go on about to another project... on the other hand if the reaction was off its back to me being by myself and going in my heart and mind to find what that beat/ or song is missing.
When the time comes to create your vision or idea alone time is a benefit, but other people influence how you perceive things. In order to make hits, write great novels or even poems sticking to yourself and not knowing anything more only limits your work. When you get out in to the world and see other people for who they are, see other cultures for what they are and judging things not by how they look but by what they do it all makes your writing better. You have more experience, ideas and opinions. You’re not limited to only your life when you become both an in-sider and out. With only one you are touching the very few who live the same lifestyle, opposed to writing with room to effect others with different issues and problems, and get your message, views, and thoughts across to the world.
A time in my life where I felt like an outsider would be when I worked at Office Max. The main reason I felt as if I was an outsider was because of the fact that I was the youngest employee there. I was the only minor among all these mid 30’s or older individuals who have been working at this job for years. They treated me as if I was a baby who didn’t understand the world solely based on me being of younger age. They would always make comments such as, “You need to learn how to crawl before you walk little boy” or “You’re so wet behind the ears”. It’s not as if they were saying those things to help me improve as an employee or better person. They were simply doing it because they were older and I was younger meaning they automatically knew more than I did. This in their case wasn’t true at all. I seemed to have just as much common sense and respect at my age then they did. My mere presence in that establishment could make my entire mood change from positive to negative instantly. This was a job that I had to suck up my own feelings and deal with the horrible personalities that I was confronted with each and every day I would enter my workplace. By me feeling as an outsider, I developed “thicker skin” to the ridicules and horrible characteristics that I may come across being an adult in the real world.
My story is very similar to the story “Stranger than Fiction” because of the way American society has put emphasize on the age old mentality that a certain standard should be demonstrated at all times. Due to the fact that we’re living in a day and age of creativity and difference, shouldn’t the 1st amendment be recognized fully? America completely ignores the principle of individuality and feels conformity should be at all times held in high regard among all people.
The earliest memory that I can think of myself as an outsider is in third grade. I'm choosing the earliest memory that I can remember because that's the incident that scared me the most. It may have been the first time that I felt and identified myself as an outsider. Unitl middle school, I went to Saint Gilbert School. It was a tradition to celebrate Christmas at my school because it was a catholic school. We would decorate hallways and sing Christmas songs all week before the big break. The day before we left for break we had an assembly that united the whole school. It was right after church, which happened every friday. Again we sang Christmas songs, acknowleged those outstanding students, and the faculty told stories from the bible. All the students wore red and green clothes and sang along. I wore the Christmas colors but never wanted to sing. My friends and I always thought we were too cool to sing, but that wasn't why I was silent. I just didn't have the enthusiasm that the rest of the school did to celebrate the biggest holiday of the year. We went back to the classroom after the assembly. Part of the tradition was for students to give Christmas gifts to their homeroom teacher. The whole class would gather around the teacher and watch her open them as we anticipated her reaction. Even though every one in five gifts were the same, the teacher always thanked the student and write a thank you card. That part isn't what bothered me. I just didn't have that same enthusiasm as the rest of my school. Maybe a few more people felt the same way I did, but never expressed themselves. How could you express your lack of interest in the most wonderful time of the year? I didn't want to express myself so I just kept my mouth shut. If one of my friends asked me what was wrong, I wouldn't answer.
I used to feal like an outsider and not In school but with my family. I was very different from them they had different ways of looking at the world i would always look at it as nothing just a time to live life and then die. when i used to be in high school in my sophmore year i realy messed up i started hangin out with the wrong crowd i would feal like an outsider when i would be with my family because i had nothing in common with any of them yes some of my cuzns knew wat i was up to but they didnt realy know who i was. i used to not attend school that year instead i would go and start daytimes as people know they are parties.I remembered about how messed up i was in 6th grade i didnt attent 6th grade i hanged out with people i thought were freinds but realy they werent your freinds they were just a group that would fall and move on. i looked at the things i got myself into and i said to myself thats it im out of this and it took time t get over it and not care about the consequenses but i ended up goin bck to school and reapeating my 6th grade year. and then i got to high school and thats when my past came back and i started doin the same thing but this time i didnt let it go to far my parents and close freinds told me dont do it again think about it get out while there is still time and i did after doing that i felt like an outsider again i wasnt the same person i was but i was a better person if u know what i mean i didnt feal like an outsider anymore because i grew up and understood the world more to me the world still a waste of time because you are living to die but i always say live life now before its to late. now i dont feal like an outsider anymore because i learned to communicate with my family and i spend time with them and have some thigns in commomn with the rest of the family now when ever we have family parties i dont feal lke im the bad person there anymore.
ive always been medicre in every talent that i decided to take up, which in some cases can make me seem like a huge outsider.of course with everything people can do there are going to be people who are considered better or the best. not too long ag0, maybe about two seasons ago,i as a disc jockey had signed with a manager with more experience than i could have even imagined. him being experienced and me being familiar with his work made me saticfied, i wasnt discouraged. everything that i thought i knew he knew ten times more, and him just like me understood that the beauty of learning something is to teach it to someone else. after learning more about him and what and what he knows my skills were up to par and i knew that i could now do much more with my career.
i at the time wasn't the only one under his management but i was his main priority. one day i was set up to host a concert and with this i meet others under and not under his management. through out spending a full day with these people i realized that i wasn't the best thing smoking. i didn't let bring me down any notches but i did feel uncomfortable and like an outsider. i felt like i either had to be in a higher place or lower to feel where i belonged.
For the past 5 years, I wish almost everyday that I was born in 1975. There would be no guarantee that I would born with my musical tastes that I have now, or the general obsession with music I currently boast and willingly admit too; but I would witness a generation of music that I believe will never come about the way it did from 1988 to 1994. No matter what kind of music you were into there was a “scene”. Either it be hardcore (not the shit that overpopulates your MySpace page), grunge, or even gangster rap, you could go to a show and have “family.” Music was not yet traded through computer screens or crowded onto your iPod; it was blasting through the speakers at local clubs. The music I listen to today has been almost driven completely out. Sure you could by a Melvin’s, minor threat, or sonic youth C.D, but you never really felt it until you were there getting beat-up by hundreds of fans that were there for the same reason you were: there love and value of music. I’m not saying today’s population doesn’t value you music, Cause the way you value music does show, every time Steve jobs gets a new house it shows in the very foundation of that castle. What I’m saying is, music fans before had a place to go, a place to belong (corny as hell I know), now we have are iPod and computer screen. Music went from being a group bonding experience to just a lonely routine of opening up iTunes on your new Mac. That’s why when chuck Palahniuk writes about all these “families” in stranger then fiction, I get jealous. How did they find these underground communities where being in a group or family is accepted and promoted? Every person he talks to, as strange as there niche is, talks as if they are a piece of a bigger (smaller in our eyes) picture that only they belong too.
Having come from a small town in South, Florida where I lived twenty years of my life. The moment I set foot off the El and gazed in aw at this Collosis known as Chicago. I never felt so out of place before. The large open spaces I was accustomed to had shrank dramatically into cramp, rickety apartment buildings. Back home, I could walk down the street and run into someone I knew around every corner. Now I am drowning within a sea of people who could really give two shits about who I was or where I was going. Everyone now minds there own business and keeps there heads straight ahead. All heading in different directions probably never to see each other again. This environment took me quite a quite to adjust to, I really felt like an outsider. Still the one thing that I can’t get over to this day is how segregated this city has become. You live either on the northside or the southside, The sox or the cubs. I’ve never had to choose sides before. In a way, All metropolitian areas are divided according by race, economic status,etc. I never experienced this in such large proportions.
“The two describe themselves as ‘a couple regular girls of White Fish, with regular jobs and everything.’ One says, ‘Did you hear that applause? We Won. We definitely won.’ A drunk young guy says, ‘So what do you win?’ And the young girl says, “There’s no prize or anything, but we’re definite winners.’” The quote from the “Testy Festy” chapter, of Palahniuk’s Stranger than Fiction novel, gives a vague although somewhat distinct example of someone’s want or need to be a part of a certain group. The girl just finish doing a highly obscene act for a group of people at The Rock Creek Lodge Testicle Festival, the young guy’s question and the girl’s response has implied the girl’s deep desire for the attention and possible love from the crowd. I’m not going to pretend that I’m so self-righteous and say that I have never attempted the feat of joining the ranks of those I thought were cool. I can recall a time in Middle School when I felt that doing drugs and smoking were the most awesome thing on the planet. I would hang out with the “cool kids” who smoked weed before class began, and rolled blunts the size of candy bars. It didn’t hit me until one morn when I woke up and couldn’t breathe. I was highly aware of my asthma but that didn’t stop…(to be continued)
Post a Comment